The Fab 5

I know that this may be a bit much for my second blog post, but please realize that before I made this blog I DID have a life and things happen, so with that said, I will talk about the "Fab 5" a group of girls that started the first day of 9th grade and are still holding on 'til this day. We've experienced a loss within the group. Ineisha Howard passed away last week Wednesday supposedly from an enlarged heart. I think that a certain hospital had something to do with it but I digress. Ineisha had just turned 20 years old on September 29th, and was almost 7 months pregnant...no the baby did not make it either. 


It's crazy how you can go from seeing someone everyday to not being able to see them at all, not able to tell them how you feel about them, how much you appreciate them, how much they mean to others...it all seems so surreal.  In the assumption that someone will always be there you find yourself taking their prescence for granted...heck they're always there you figure you'll tell them eventually or just assume that they already know.


But then you're left with the moments that you've shared, the things you wished you could reminisce about when you were older, and plans of a mutual journey through life together are cut short....everything is just a memory.


Today I went to Ineisha's wake, and I felt so at peace before I got there. I looked at her laying there, lifeless, her beautiful smile and glow, so suddenly absent, transparent. She was still so beautiful nevertheless. Her ivory white dress and diamond earrings (I would have liked to borrow) brought my angel back as much as possible. Her skin, hard and cold.....oh 'Neish I miss you so much.


I type this and try to hold back tears, every memory that we've had just races through my mind bringing me joy followed by inevitable sadness because there will be no more memories to share. I will never smile with you again only in my dreams, only in my heart. I will never get to hold little Zoey and experience her first words, first steps, dirty diapers and her transformation into the beautiful woman that she would have become because she would have had such a wonderful mother.






Your mother and father are being strong for you. Nina, Kadie, Judy and I are being strong for you and thank you soooo much because you've left me with the burden of being the only "sane" one in the Fab 5 hahaha. Nothing and no one can ever change what we've been through, no one knows our story the way we do. We were supposed to be living it up in New York or Cali somewhere. All of us successes. But we'll keep pushing in your honor. We've lost the sane one. We know Nina's the crazy one, Kadie is the one everyone THINKS is innocent, Judy is lovestruck, and well....you know meeeeeeee! Haha and you were the sweetheart, the one who accepted everybody that we probably wouldn't. 

I could talk about you all night I love you girl I just had to get this off my chest......see you at the funeral in the morning.