I'm feeling some kind of way today (A page from Ashley Christine's Diary)

This is how I'm feeling right now. I know that a lot of people are upset because I may not call as often as I used to, or think that I don't "love them anymore" (LOL). 

But you should know that my love never ends! If I've loved you, I'll always will. I'm just trying to fulfill and go beyond my potential and it'll take a little while, and a little bit of focus on me. I'm not living the good life, but I'm trying to get there and help others along the way. I'm sure that when I'm doing my thing you all would like me more than if I wasn't doing anything at all. So please allow me just a little bit of hiatus to make you all proud of me <3 I LOVE YOU! (and remember the phone works two ways!)

~I'm just tryna be me, doing what I gotta do~ Brandy

~*Ashley Christine

Positive Outreach and things of that nature (meeting brief)

Hello again butterflies,


I just came from the Bodacious Butterfly Icebreaker meeting and I'm excited to say that we've come up with some amazing ideas for the semester


So far, the full figured fashion show that I am planning is currently being budgeted out, so if you know anyone who may be interested in either modeling or providing clothing, performing, vending, etc the show is set for april 9th, email me or my Vice President Tierra Jones at ee3407@wayne.edu (me)  or tljones@wayne.edu (Tierra). The models may be from sizes 12 and up! no height requirements are set as of yet.


I also am planning a self-esteem workshop March 11th for a group of young girls at Durfee Elementary school which I am SO excited about. I'm also looking for a male mentor group who may be interested in doing the same thing for the young men at the school on the same day. If you or anyone you know is interested PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know as soon as possible...the children are our future and any way that we can reach out to them we should. <3 There is a huge need for positivity to be seen in the community.


In other news, we have our Valentine's Day bake sale which will be on Valentine's Day (of course) time and location is unknown as of now, but we will have plenty of goodies and smiles to go around.


Well....that's all for now. As always, think positive, be the change that you want to see, DON'T LET FEAR HINDER YOU!!!, and drink lots of water! hahaha. Have a wonderful weekend. Talk to you gals later <3


~*Toodles Butterflies~*

~Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.~- via Jelani Kamal's status :)


~Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours~

New Year, Lateness, and Wonderful Beginnings

HELLO MY BUTTERFLIES!


I know that I've been a bad girl not blogging for over a month...but it truly has been within good reason. I've started this new year off with lots of hope and faith pulling me through to do lots of things for the betterment of me and the people around me.


I'm glad to say that BBI is off to a good start, although it was a rough beginning. My network is growing daily, and I'm meeting all types of well rounded people who can in some way or another help mold me and those around me into the wonderful, uplifting and powerful people that we can become.


I want to thank a few of the people in my circle that are helping me along the way:


My Tierra's:

• Miss Tierra of Tay Productionz who has put together an AMAZING showcase that I'm so honored to be apart of.  The showcase's message is all about encouraging people to embrace hope and change and using it to steer your life in a positive way. Tierra is truly a talented, brave, strong woman and her endurance keeps me going in my own life. She is truly an inspiration. I am actually a performer in the showcase and I just got my tickets! ($30) The showcase features vocalists, dancers, hip hop artists, models, artists (painting, graphic, etc) actors, and fashion designers of Detroit. I am competing in the vocalist category wish me luck! I'll elaborate on it at another time, it's March 26th...BUT if you'd like to support me and my friends...(JeLani: Hip Hop, James: Actor, Malachi: Spoken Word, Terrell and Christine: Photos) let me know and I'll elaborate on all of the festivities!
• My "know everybody" Tierra. She has lifted some of the weight off of my shoulders when it comes to BBI and I'm so grateful for her, she's like my guardian angel right now. I'm so happy to have you on board and I know we're about to make things happen cap'n!

Miss Krystal!!! Krystal has been promoting before BBI was even started and as soon as I told her my idea I had her support <3 I love her company, her spirit, and her motivation for me. Her faith in me keeps me going and I can't wait to do the same for her with her Poetry Club which should be coming soon :)

Chidinma and Amara: Thank you guys for supporting me and giving me the advice that I need to keep going <3 

My Baby, my love: Thank you for being my rock. You have done SOOOOOOOO much for me I can't even begin to thank you. From designing my logo (that everyone loves), to printing a million copies of flyers and driving across town for little ole' me. Your optimism keeps me grounded babe. And I know that sometimes I can become filled with doubt, but I thank you for continuing to encourage me. I love that you want to be so active in my life and your input and ideas mean so much to me. You are a big help and I love you. I don't wanna get too mushy because we all know that I could talk all day. Love you <3

And to everybody who has shared the facebook page, the blog, and have had faith in my vision I thank you from the bottom of my heart because I can't do this without you guys...I could try but....ya know. And if I've left out anyone, blame it on the head not the heart <3 I definitely love you all.

I've also recently gotten my business cards for my makeup gig! I'm so excited. My portfolio however is a bit "blah" but we ARE working on that. If any models are interested be sure to let me know! We'd love to shoot you! (I need it!)

and hmmm lets see....my sprint bill is still high, I don't have a job yet, I've stopped eating meat (And my body is DEFINITELY adjusting as far as my bowels go...TMI I know) but I won't let these things hinder me...all I can do is keep going, keep my faith, and stay consistent in all that I do.

All in all, I am VERY excited for all of the things that I have planned for myself as well as BBI...I don't want to give too much away but trust me....GREAT things are to come :)

~We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.~ - Walt Disney

This quote SANG to me. I've always been the one to wonder "why" and "what if" and as of recently my curiosity and faith in moving forward has lead me into so many new things and gotten me acquainted with so many new people who I know will bring me nothing but positive change and growth. I see that the only way to move forward is to "Just Do It," and I'm doing and doing because I can't stop and I won't stop. I'm on the road to greatness, won't you please join me? Leave your fears behind ;-)

~*Signed, Ashley Christine

Just a quick thought or two

Well....hello my butterflies. It has been a few days since my last post so I'll just brief you all for a second.

• I spent Thanksgiving with my mother, stepfather, and three little sisters where I endured 9 hours of hard labor in the kitchen....and ended up not wanting to eat much at all....which may have been a good thing (???)
• The next couple of days, I went up north with my love, his sister and mother. Boy was I suuuuuper relaxed. There was nothing but pure nature all around, a beautiful starry sky, lots of trees, the synchronized sounds of insects among the leaves. (It kinda reminded me of the opening scene of "Runaway"...minus Mr. West of course)
• We're almost in gear for the first meeting of Bodacious Butterfly Inc!! I'm soooo excited. I have so many ideas and I've been getting good feedback from people who are interested in becoming members. I just need to promote a bit more around campus and hopefully *crossing fingers* by Tuesday (Dec. 7th) I'll be writing about how amazing my first meeting went.
• Ohhhhh and while I was up north, I bought the AMAAAAAAAAZING Beyonce "I AM....." World Tour DVD which was only $10.00 at Wal-mart and let me just say I was laughing, crying, dancing, smiling, I LOOOOOVED it. She definitely showed how versatile she is, as always...and I'm not jus saying that because I'm a huge Bey fan. The downside however....I wish there was more behind the scenes footage or at least some kind of Special Features. There were a few behind the scenes sneak peeks added throughout the DVD...but I digress. Just go pick one up already!

• Oh and another thing. I just found out that I can shop at Sephora.com with my JC Penny card...huge mistake for Sephora (But I'll shop responsibly I promise....plus I need a good credit score for when I decide to get that hot Loft in Manhattan or Beach House in Florida).

Other than that, I have major studying to do...school, life, and love.

          “Go out in the world and work like money doesn't matter, Sing as if no one is listening, Love as if you have never been hurt, and Dance as if no one is watching” -Anonymous

~*Toodles Butterflies*~ ;-) 

....Facebook Fan Page-------> http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bodacious-Butterfly-Inc/121891991208387?v=wall

What IS Bodacious Butterfly Inc?

Ok so I'm sure that you all have waited long enough to find out exactly what BBI is. Soooo I'll tell you how it all came about:

As a freshman last year I noticed a lot of heavier girls my age, younger, and older who seemed to care little or naught about their appearance. My mother would always hassle me about "Taking pride in my appearance," so when I saw this I immediately heard her voice in my head and I wanted to shout the same thing to them!

When I got back to my room I thought about those girls and all of the labels that are always attached to being "plus sized." We are called lazy, sloppy, nasty, insecure all of the negative things that you could think of and here I sit and reminisce on what I've just seen realizing why that is! I could count on one, maybe two hands the amount of girls who kept themselves up and I empathized with them. Maybe I could blame it on the fast pace sweats and a t-shirt college life that we were living, but step outside of the college district and I see the same things.

I see the overweight woman ordering mass amounts of fried chicken because that's the only thing she can afford or even bring herself to desire, I see the teenage girl who wants to look sexy but doesn't know exactly how to compete with her smaller friends who can wear the things she only wishes to. I see the quiet 4th grader who is teased about being chubby and just wants to be treated like everyone else.


Now what I was HEARING about heavier girls was disturbing as well. I heard guys speak about being able to take advantage of bigger girls because they are usually insecure and have few options for love. Now what?????? Excuuuuse me, but I happen to be a VERY picky girl so I don't know where that came about. But then again, I am just me.


Along with that, I was a witness to many of my curvy sisters settling because they didn't feel like they were at their best and were insecure either about their weight or figure or simply were trying to find their niche and importance in a world that was constantly telling them that they were not as good as everyone else. Big girls are constantly under appreciated, you can tell by the lack of fit and style in clothes at the retail store, the constant ridiculing of celebrities when they gain a few pounds, the comments made such as the prior assumption that they can be used and deceived with false feelings of endearment...it all matters in this downward spiral of the fuller figured.


I know how this feels, I was there and sometimes I still find myself in that place, picking and prodding at my insecurities, the rolls on my back, hips that got me the nickname "Wide Load," Jiggly arms and thighs that I can't for the life of me fathom. A lot of emotional distress occurs when you don't feel good about yourself which can lead low self esteem, low self worth, or even depression....just a WHIRLWIND OF INSECURITIES!


But it all starts with loving yourself. Start from within and treat your mind, body and spirit like the beautiful temples that they are. I am not saying that I am the perfect example of the empowered plus sized woman,  but I am doing what it takes to get there and help my fellow Bodacious Butterflies transform spiritually, mentally , emotionally and even physically into the confident and powerful people that we can become :)


I want to first give you all a test:
The Holiday is soon approaching and that means food, family, and fun. Just take the small step of eating with moderation. Indulge in your family and the fun, not the food. This time is about giving thanks and showing what you are grateful for. Take this time to laugh, play games, catch up with those you've neglected during the week and maybe even the year. Your heart, stomach and thighs will in turn thank YOU for not leaving them with the after effects and the "Ooooo I shouldn't have eaten all of that" speech when you need to fit into that suit for work on Monday.


So if you like, join the fan page and help me help you help me help you on the journey to become the people that we both know there is potential for us to become ;-)

The Fab 5

The Beginning of a Transformation

Welcome to my world everyone. I guess I'll start the first post explaining a little bit about myself:

I am Ashley, born and raised in Detroit, with the privilege of being African American with roots descending from Grenada, Ireland, Africa, South America, and Native America.

Growing up as the only child in a two parent household and (in my opinion) being a favorite great-grand and grandchild, I experienced love from all ends of the family spectrum. I took dance on the weekends for years with trips to the local fresh food market "Eastern Market" ( http://www.detroiteasternmarket.com/ ) thanks to my wonderful mother, and experienced what it felt like to be a "Daddy's Girl" with the help of memorable movie dates,  Chinese food dinners, and the ability to get my way a little bit more with my dad. 

I was very active in the Church, school, choir and grew up in what I would say was a very positive environment. Honor roll, writing contests, talent shows, amazing family and friends, it all came to me. But down this road, I acquired a love all my own......

FOOD.


I've always loved food, I'd get in trouble for sneaking it, eat it because it was there, lie about it and repeat the cycle til I was officially a fat kid. I haven't been small since I was about 4 years old. I've always been cute and chubby and at one point....heck hundreds of points I've just felt plain FAT. 

I've dealt with the feelings of being the "fat friend" or "fat with a cute face" for most of my life and the trials and heartache that come with constantly being stereotyped by my peers or people who knew little or nothing about me at all. I remember the first time someone referred to me as being "thick" though...haha that gave me some confidence.

The curvy confident women around me though, is where I gained my confidence. My mother, my aunt, women at church. They had so much grace, so much presence, I wanted to know their secret. How they could hear the same things that I'd hear and still be strong enough to stand up and say "I'm here, this is me, this is what I stand for take it or leave it,"? I had always found myself wanting to be someone else or at least me with someone else's body.

But as I grew.... I started to realize who I was, what I had  to offer to this world, and that I was a force to be reckoned with if I just used all of my potential. I knew that all I needed to do to be a better me, was to THINK like a better me. If I was unhappy with something, I'd try my hardest to either accept it or change it. It started with changing the way that I think. I could no longer play the victim, I could no longer be unrealistic about my health, whether it'd be emotional, mental, physical or spiritual.


I knew that my emotional health would struggle if I didn't love myself. I knew that I couldn't be mentally focused if I wasn't healthy, and I knew that in order to be closer to God, that I would have to treat my body like the temple that it is and exercise more than I had been doing. I knew what didn't make me happy and that I wanted to feel more confident in myself when it came to my appearance. Once I figured that out about myself, I made a small, but very important step:


I changed my eating habits, and stopped eating red meat, and never had been an avid eater of pork, and left myself eating either fish (sushi!!!), chicken or veggies. I drank no pop, I cleansed myself and I noticed my glow...and the amazing thing was, so did everyone else. 

I had always had the brains, the singing voice that everyone loved, the personality, but my insecurity had always still been being curvier, thicker, heavier, plus sized, so I did something about it. Now don't get me wrong. I will never be a size 2, that's just not my style. I have a love/hate relationship with my hips, breast, thighs, and butt. I know that they could be BETTER and that's what I strive for, but I would never trade these curves in for a walk on the side of confidence that I can only imagine exists. We all have our flaws and I can appreciate when friends of mine envy my hips or when the guys swoon over the same. It keeps me grounded, it boosts my confidence, it sparks up my self desire.


It's funny. I had a crush on a guy forever. The crush of a lifetime...but I was always the fat friend right? This was years ago. But when that same crush saw me years later on my way to college and those curves had filled out with hips, small stomach, full breast....mhmmm you know he wanted to touch. Hahahaha but I could only laugh and be disappointed that he only saw that and not the person that I had been all along. That's the other side of it all. Things like that help me to be grateful for the people who love ASHLEY. The one that mentally arouses them, the Ashley who has been there before the beginning of this transformation, and will be there at the end of it all. 


I'm not even all the way there. I've started this journey alone but plan to reach out to my other curvy girls who want to uplift themselves whether it'd be emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. That's why I started Bodacious Butterfly Inc. (BBI) I want to create a sisterhood because this is not easy to do alone. Plus sized girls are making moves nowadays in society but for some reason we STILL aren't really heard. It's like they're trying to stuff cupcakes down our throat to keep us away, but we're not havin' it ( Okay maybe one) but on another note...It is 5 a.m. and I have to go view my friend, my sweet angel Ineisha Howard's body (Lord Rest her soul) this afternoon so I will talk more about BBI tomorrow. I'm sure you're tired of reading anyway...


*~Toodles Butterflies~*